Sunday, August 16, 2009
♥ Productive day, overall
I finished all the laundry remaining in the house. It always seems like we accumulate extra clothes in the summertime, but I suppose being that it is that kind of weather most of the year here it would make sense. The kids and I got to spend some quality time together today, even in the midst of studying for midterms. We prepared ourselves for school tomorrow with our 8pm bedtime, and are ready for our day of school, swimming, and karate tomorrow. I also got the cardio x workout in tonight after the kids were asleep.
Jake called to talk to the kids today. After he was done talking, I was given the phone back and Jake wanted to talk to me. I told him the kids were excited about Lincoln's birthday party, and he said I might wanna play it down a bit. I was just silent and waited for him to talk.
He said how he can't drive all the way here and back in a weekend, and that it was too much driving for him. I just remained quiet and waited for him to either continue talking or ask me something. He asked if I had anything to say. I told him I really don't see his complaint about driving so far as valid since he has made too many trips to count to PA from Tennessee, North Carolina, and South Carolina in a weekend, played volleyball one or both days, then turned around and drove back... all by himself. This is not nearly all that, and he has done it before.
Then he said the reason he can't do it is because Friday night he is supposed to be setting up for the birthday party, and he can't be driving all the way here and back when he needs to do that. My reply was that he should talk to Vicky about either setting up for the party on Thursday night so he can pick up the kids on Friday night, or talk to her about doing the setting up while he does the driving. I also told him the kids would be heartbroken if he didn't come for them when they have been talking about it since summer vacation, and he should think about that and do what he can to make it work.
He asked me why I can't drive to meet him halfway, and I told him I had things to do that evening. He asked me why I could not do them on Thursday night, to which I explained that I will be studying for my midterms Thursday, Wednesday, and all the other nights this week and was actually studying when he called. I did tell him I could meet him on the other side of Atlanta if it helps, since that is one of the biggest time killers on the trip.
The part that gets me is that they have been talking about having the kids this weekend for a while now. Two weeks ago, Jake invited me to Lincoln's birthday party. No offense, but I'm not stupid. The only reason I was invited was so I could drive the kids. Vicky absolutely does not like me and does not want me at her son's birthday party with her family around. I am not going to subject myself to that, and I have had plans since summer for this weekend. I will help out if I can to be nice, but I do not think it is too much to ask for him to make the effort and show the kids he wants THEM there.
I am already concerned about how this weekend will affect Andrew. He was the one asking questions about Lincoln's birthday, as well as questions about his own first birthday. I explained that I didn't know what Lincoln's cake would be like, but that he was lucky to have had my Mom's chocolate cake with vanilla icing for his first birthday, and he was able to eat the cake however he wanted. Then we shared the rest with the people who were there. We didn't have a big huge party for him when he was one because he really didn't know what was going on. He played with toys, and liked eating cake.
This worries me because I'm pretty sure Andrew is going to be weighing in his mind whether he or Lincoln is more important to Jake. I hope that is not the case, but seeing how Andrew has cried his heart out these last two nights and he hasn't brought Lincoln up since after he was born until now... I think I am right to be concerned for him. And if Jake doesn't come through and pick up the kids for his party, Andrew is going to think he is less important because his Dad didn't come for him. He told me tonight how upset he would be if Jake doesn't come for him. I so badly hope that doesn't happen.
What I would like to see happen this weekend: Jake comes to pick up the kids right after they get off school so they are not waiting too long to see him. When they get there, the party is small with maybe closest family and friends - nothing bigger than a standard party they would have had at the house. His cake is nice, decorated with something he likes and it is edible for everyone (including Victoria). The ice cream is all natural so Victoria is not left out, and Andrew and Victoria are also made to feel special somehow in the midst of all the Lincoln attention, which is rightly his on his birthday. The kids come home and had a great time, and Andrew is only a little sad because he misses Jake. No feelings of jealousy toward Lincoln would be excellent.
So here's to intention, prayer, and hope. I'm now putting this one in the God box.
Jake called to talk to the kids today. After he was done talking, I was given the phone back and Jake wanted to talk to me. I told him the kids were excited about Lincoln's birthday party, and he said I might wanna play it down a bit. I was just silent and waited for him to talk.
He said how he can't drive all the way here and back in a weekend, and that it was too much driving for him. I just remained quiet and waited for him to either continue talking or ask me something. He asked if I had anything to say. I told him I really don't see his complaint about driving so far as valid since he has made too many trips to count to PA from Tennessee, North Carolina, and South Carolina in a weekend, played volleyball one or both days, then turned around and drove back... all by himself. This is not nearly all that, and he has done it before.
Then he said the reason he can't do it is because Friday night he is supposed to be setting up for the birthday party, and he can't be driving all the way here and back when he needs to do that. My reply was that he should talk to Vicky about either setting up for the party on Thursday night so he can pick up the kids on Friday night, or talk to her about doing the setting up while he does the driving. I also told him the kids would be heartbroken if he didn't come for them when they have been talking about it since summer vacation, and he should think about that and do what he can to make it work.
He asked me why I can't drive to meet him halfway, and I told him I had things to do that evening. He asked me why I could not do them on Thursday night, to which I explained that I will be studying for my midterms Thursday, Wednesday, and all the other nights this week and was actually studying when he called. I did tell him I could meet him on the other side of Atlanta if it helps, since that is one of the biggest time killers on the trip.
The part that gets me is that they have been talking about having the kids this weekend for a while now. Two weeks ago, Jake invited me to Lincoln's birthday party. No offense, but I'm not stupid. The only reason I was invited was so I could drive the kids. Vicky absolutely does not like me and does not want me at her son's birthday party with her family around. I am not going to subject myself to that, and I have had plans since summer for this weekend. I will help out if I can to be nice, but I do not think it is too much to ask for him to make the effort and show the kids he wants THEM there.
I am already concerned about how this weekend will affect Andrew. He was the one asking questions about Lincoln's birthday, as well as questions about his own first birthday. I explained that I didn't know what Lincoln's cake would be like, but that he was lucky to have had my Mom's chocolate cake with vanilla icing for his first birthday, and he was able to eat the cake however he wanted. Then we shared the rest with the people who were there. We didn't have a big huge party for him when he was one because he really didn't know what was going on. He played with toys, and liked eating cake.
This worries me because I'm pretty sure Andrew is going to be weighing in his mind whether he or Lincoln is more important to Jake. I hope that is not the case, but seeing how Andrew has cried his heart out these last two nights and he hasn't brought Lincoln up since after he was born until now... I think I am right to be concerned for him. And if Jake doesn't come through and pick up the kids for his party, Andrew is going to think he is less important because his Dad didn't come for him. He told me tonight how upset he would be if Jake doesn't come for him. I so badly hope that doesn't happen.
What I would like to see happen this weekend: Jake comes to pick up the kids right after they get off school so they are not waiting too long to see him. When they get there, the party is small with maybe closest family and friends - nothing bigger than a standard party they would have had at the house. His cake is nice, decorated with something he likes and it is edible for everyone (including Victoria). The ice cream is all natural so Victoria is not left out, and Andrew and Victoria are also made to feel special somehow in the midst of all the Lincoln attention, which is rightly his on his birthday. The kids come home and had a great time, and Andrew is only a little sad because he misses Jake. No feelings of jealousy toward Lincoln would be excellent.
So here's to intention, prayer, and hope. I'm now putting this one in the God box.
♥ Live life with love.
8:57 PM
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8:57 PM
0 commented